After risking my life by scaling an iron fence with pokey things on top, I scurried to the dark house.
I reported to work the next morning looking like something the cat dragged in, half eaten yet somehow still alive.
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who believe in magic and those who are wrong.
I rolled my eyes so far back into my head, I almost seized.
Never let it be said that life in Charley Land wasn’t interesting.
Insanity takes its toll. Please have exact change.
The man stood back, not sure what to think. That was my secret weapon. Confuse ’em and keep ’em guessing long enough to run away. I.
One shot of our espresso, and you’ll be able to thread a sewing machine. While it’s running.
I’m giving up drinking for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Drinking for a month. -Meme.
So many dead people, so little time.
Honey, don’t worry about people who talk behind your back. They’re behind you for a reason.
When people are dead, they don’t know they’re dead. It’s the same thing when people are stupid.
The smile that spread across her face couldn’t have been stopped if Moses himself had commanded it. Jesus, maybe, but Moses didn’t have quite enough clout to dampen her joy.
Q: How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Into what?
Are we going to one of those kinky parties where everyone dresses like stuffed animals? ‘Cause those people freak me out.
I’m the type of person whose sense of humor could be described as inappropriate with a chance of ruining family dinner.
It’s a threat.” “Ah.” “And not an idle one, either,” she warned. “There is nothing idle about my threats. My threats are hardworking. Not afraid to get their hands dirty.
He’d make some lucky girl a fine ex-husband one day.
You only need to find yourself. Everything else can be Googled. – Meme.
My Virginia has been entered more times than a Kardashian’s pin number.