Maybe I’m better like this. Maybe I could live my life in my own world, and then simply leave it when it’s time to go.
As the two of us – past self, my present self – hovered over her bed, I could see each cruel damage written across her skin, beneath her eyes, down into her bones. She was no longer the way she wanted to be remembered. She was already more breath than body.
There was nothing very cheerful about the cold, and yet there was an air of cheerfulness that the cleverest summer air and brightest summer sun couldn’t have compared with. Everyone was in this together.
I’d like to remain at that one delicate remove, so you can get to know me without the distraction of other people’s noise.
The important people in our lives leave imprints. They may stay or go in the physical realm, but they are always in your heart.
Remember that at any given moment there are a thousand things you can love.
The words that matter always stay.
Maybe relationships could have fractals, too. And maybe the sense of loss was when you’re becoming a fractal of what you once were to each other.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: We all want everything to be okay. We don’t even wish so much for fantastic or marvelous or outstanding. We will happily settle for okay, because most of the time, okay is enough.
I could point out that it isn’t always easy knowing who you are and what you want, because then you have no excuse for not trying to get it.
There are all these moments you don’t think you will survive. And then you survive.
We always see our worst selves. Our most vulnerable selves. We need someone else to get close enough to tell us we’re wrong. Someone we trust.
I guess I don’t believe these things can ever be easy, although I also don’t see why they have to be hard.
I no longer think she’s just being nice. She’s being kind. Which is much more a sign of character than mere niceness. Kindness connects to who you are, while niceness connects to how you want to be seen.
You have to believe there are kisses and laughs and risks worth taking.
What separates us from the animals, what separates us from the chaos, is our ability to mourn people we’ve never met.
I never felt the urge to jump off a bridge, but there are times I have wanted to jump out of my life, out of my skin.
Kindness connects to who you are, while niceness connects to how you want to be seen.
And maybe it is only by finding yourself that you can feel the true intensity of becoming close to another person.
I am constantly torn between killing myself and killing everyone around me.