You know there’s no such thing as a complete lie. There’s always some truth in there.
And who am I to blow against the wind?
I would always wait to take you home.
You leave the phone on beside you as you fall asleep. I sit in my bed and listen to your breathing, until I know you are safe, until I know you no longer need me for the night.
These words are now mine, but soon they’ll be ours.
Even if neither of us got what we wanted, we found freedom in the third choices.
For I have never wanted a lover, but I have always wanted to love, and to be loved.
After working for so long on being sure of each other, sure of this thing, suddenly we were unsure again.
What a strange phrase – –not seeing other people. As if it’s been constructed to be a lie. We see other people all the time. The question is what we do about it.
Life goes on is a redundancy. Life is defined by its going on.
Is that all we need? Can the way we say each other’s names encompass all our history, all our love, all our fear, all our fights, all our reunions, all of what we know about each other, all of what we don’t know?
And I’m moved, it’s so beautiful. Not what I wrote, but to have it given back like this. To have her remember the words and the tune. To hear it in her voice.
When someone breaks up with you, their beauty – which you took such satisfaction in – suddenly becomes unfair.
You are happy even if you are afraid to admit it.
Maybe there is hope in the fragments, that what is lost can always be filled in by someone who knows.
I think they have compatible silences.
They defy gravity, as good books should.
Please may this not be a game. Please may this not be a game. Because if it’s a game, I know I’m going to lose.
But I still has enough longing for that concept that I didn’t want to dispel it completely. Meaning: I didn’t want to tell Lily that I felt we’d all been duped by Plato and the idea of a soul mate. Just in case it turned out that she was mine.
Deep down, you see, I long to be arcane, esoteric. I would love to confound people with their own language.