Your future is whatever you make it, so make it a good one.
Trying to be funny is one of the hardest things on the planet. I think that’s tough for everyone. If you’re just naturally funny it’s a hell of a lot easier.
The future’s unwritten. It’s what we make of it.
I think the sensible thing would be to focus on one thing and be the best you can be at it. There is always that risk of spreading yourself too thin if you try to do too much.
The time-traveling is just too dangerous. Better that I devote myself to study the other great mystery of the universe: women!
I’m sure that in 1985, plutonium is available in every corner drugstore, but in 1955, it’s a little hard to come by.
I don’t have the desire to be the best standup in the UK but I do have the desire to be the best at everything else I do in terms of writing and acting.
There is only one thing that could make me near homicidal. Yeah – this is called My Proper Tea.
Standup is tough; if you are going through a hard period in your life, it is very hard to get up in front of people and be the happy guy in the room.