Unconditional love – what every child deserves from its parents.
And I remember when she first fell into my office how ordinary I thought she looked. She is anything but ordinary. With a little makeup and the right clothes, she’s a goddess.
I glare at her, hoping to intimidate her. “Oh, I exercise control in all things, Miss Steele.” And I’d like to exercise it over you, right here, right now.
I will handle this better from my seat of power.
WHEN I LOOK UP again, the paintings in my foyer, my Madonnas, bring a mirthless smile to my lips. The idealization of motherhood. All of them gazing at their infants, or staring inauspiciously down at me.
An image of her shackled to my bench, peeled gingerroot inserted in her ass so she can’t clench her buttocks, comes to mind, followed by judicious use of a belt or strap.
Lying in my bed, I pray for a dreamless sleep... but if I am to dream, I want to dream of her.
With one last lingering look at Anastasia Steele – the first woman I’ve ever slept with – I head out for my run.
I went to Sunday school, Anastasia. It taught me a great deal.” Catechism. Guilt. And that God abandoned me long ago.
I like the control it gives me, Anastasia. I want you to behave in a particular way, and if you don’t, I shall punish you, and you will learn to behave the way I desire. I enjoy punishing you. I’ve wanted to spank you since you asked me if I was gay.
If you grow up with a wholly negative self-image, thinking you’re some kind of reject, an unlovable savage, you think you deserve to be beaten.
My reason vanishes when we’re together – that’s the depth of my feeling for you.
To: Christian Grey.
Miss Anastasia Steele is here to see you, Mr. Grey.
Relationships like this are built on honesty and trust. If you don’t trust me-trust me to know how I’m affecting you, how far I can go with you, how far I can take you-if you can’t be honest with me, then we really can’t do this.
Good to have you home. I’ve been waiting for you.
Christian, I’ve long held the belief that you never really had an adolescence – emotionally speaking.
No creo que pueda aguantar lejos de ti tanto tiempo. Apenas lo consigo ahora.
I become aware that once again the only empty seat is beside me. I shake my head as the thought crosses my mind that Christian might have purchased the adjacent seat so that I couldn’t talk to anyone. I dismiss the idea as ridiculous – no one could be that controlling, that jealous, surely. I close my eyes as the plane taxis toward the runway.
Let me, please.” My voice is soft and cajoling. I want to undress my husband, my Fifty.