The mintage of wisdom is to know that rest is rust, and that real life is love, laughter, and work.
A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman is as bad as she dares.
A good front is half the battle in love or war.
Life is a compromise between fate and free will.
What people need and what they want may be very different.
If I supply you with a thought, you may remember it and you may not. But if I can make you think a thought for yourself, I have indeed added to your stature.
Grammar is the grave of letters.
If you have no enemies you are apt to be in the same predicament in regard to friends.
As a career, the business of an orthodox preacher is about as successful as that of a celluloid dog chasing an asbestos cat through hell.
Success is voltage under control-keeping one hand on the transformer of your Kosmic Kilowatts.
A form of self-delusion.
The only man who makes money following the races is one who does it with a broom and shovel.
Mystic: a person who is puzzled before the obvious, but who understands the non-existent.
Logic: an instrument used for bolstering a prejudice.
Laws that do not embody public opinion can never be enforced.
In a state of nature, the weakest go to the wall; in a state of over-refinement, both the weak and the strong go to the gutter.
Knowledge is the distilled essence of our institutions, corroborated by experience.
An American religion: Work, play, breathe, bathe, study, live, laugh, and love.
We never ask God to forgive anybody except when we haven’t.
Righteous indignation: your own wrath as opposed to the shocking bad temper of others.