The shorter the hours, the larger the income. Don’t get into the habit of putting in long hours or you may be set down into a permanent subordinate position.
It isn’t how long you stick around but what you put over while you are here.
Early to bed and early to rise, and you’ll meet very few of the best people.
A good musical comedy consists largely of disorderly conduct occassionally interrupted by talk.
Life is a series of relapses and recoveries.
Moral: Don’t try to Account for Anything.
Moral: It all depends.
I am thoroughly tired of the fable style of narrative and shall do my best to get up something entirely different and possibly little more worthy.
Give the people what they think they want.
The only city people are those born so.
Do not give alms promiscuously. Select the unworthy poor and make them happy. To give to the deserving is a duty, but to help the improvident, drinking class is clear generosity, so that the donor has a right to be warmed by a selfish pride and count on a most flattering obituary.
Do unto yourself as your neighbors do unto themselves and look pleasant.
For parlor use, the vague generality is a life saver.
She was short on intellect, but long on shape.
Scatter seeds of kindness.
A lot of smart young people have come out of Indiana. The smarter they are, the faster they come out.
A good jolly is worth what you pay for it.
Only the more rugged mortals should attempt to keep up with current literature.
Early to bed and early to rise is a bad rule for anyone who wishes to become acquainted with our most prominent and influential people.
A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.