Stimulate the phagocytes.
Our political experiment of democracy, the last refuge of cheap misgovernment.
Remember always that the least plain sister is the family beauty.
An English army led by an Irish general: that might be a match for a French army led by an Italian general.
A married man is a man with a past, while a bachelor is a man with a future.
English is the easiest language to speak badly.
The problem with the press is that they can’t tell the difference between a bicycle crash and the end of civilization.
Medical science is as yet very imperfectly differentiated from common cure-mongering witchcraft.
Women are called womanly only when they regard themselves as existing solely for the use of men.
It’s not that I’m so clever, it is that others are so stupid.
The pianoforte is the most important of all musical instruments; its invention was to music what the invention of printing was to poetry.
I wish people would stop talking about my birthday.
I can think of no other edifice constructed by man as altruistic as a lighthouse. They were built only to serve.
Stop being Jews and start being human beings.
I am the most spontaneous speaker in the world because every word, every gesture, and every retort has been carefully rehearsed.
The philosopher is Nature’s pilot.
What is the matter with the rich is Uselessness.
Hell is not all paved with bad intentions.
Money is a most important thing in the world.
Seemingly unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. Much progress, therefore, depends on such people.