Newspaper : A device unable to distinguish between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilisation.
My friend, when a man has anything to tell in this world, the difficulty is not to make him tell it, but to prevent him from telling it too often.
Well, sir, you never can tell. That’s a principle in life with me, sir, if you’ll excuse my having such a thing.
If all you are going to do in life are the things that are convenient and comfortable, the great things never get done.
Of all the damnable waste of human life that ever was invented, clerking is the worst.
The mathematician is fascinated with the marvelous beauty of the forms he constructs, and in their beauty he finds everlasting truth.
If more than ten percent of the public likes a painting, it should be burned.
We know now that the soul is the body, and the body the soul. They tell us they are different because they want to persuade us that we can keep our souls if we let them make slaves of our bodies.
When you prevent me from doing anything I want to do, that is persecution; when I prevent you from doing anything you want to do, that is law, order, and morals.
I was a freethinker before I knew how to think.
A child hasn’t a grown-up person’s appetite for affection. A little of it goes a long way with them; and they like a good imitation of it better than the real thing, as every nurse knows.
I have not wasted my life trifling with literary fools in taverns, as Johnson did, when he should have been shaking England with the thunder of his spirit.
Fashions are the only induced epidemics, proving that epidemics can be induced by tradesmen.
Any belief worth having must survive doubt.
Decency is indecency’s conspiracy of silence.
The unconscious self is the real genius. Your breathing goes wrong the moment your conscious self meddles with it.
From a very early age, I’ve had to interrupt my education to go to school.
I was a cannibal for twenty-five years. For the rest I have been a vegetarian.
Money enables us to get what we want instead of what other people think we want.
I’m sick of all the reasonable people: they see all the reasons for doing nothing.