Grief is love’s souvenir. It’s our proof that we once loved. Grief is the receipt we wave in the air that says to the world: Look! Love was once mine. I love well. Here is my proof that I paid the price.
You are not supposed to be happy all the time. Life hurts and it’s hard. Not because you’re doing it wrong, but because it hurts for everybody. Don’t avoid the pain. You need it. It’s meant for you. Be still with it, let it come, let it go, let it leave you wtih the fuel you’ll burn to get your work done on this earth.
We know what the world wants from us. We know we must decide whether to stay small, quiet, and uncomplicated or allow ourselves to grow as big, loud, and complex as we were made to be. Every girl must decide whether to be true to herself or true to the world. Every girl must decide whether to settle for adoration or fight for love.
I’m not a mess but a deeply feeling person in a messy world. I explain that now, when someone asks me why I cry so often, I say, ‘For the same reason I laugh so often – because I’m paying attention.’ I tell them that we can choose to be perfect and admired or to be real and loved. We must decide.
People who are hurting don’t need Avoiders, Protectors, or Fixers. What we need are patient, loving witness. People to sit quietly and hold space for us. People to stand in helpful vigil to our pain.
People who need help sometimes look a lot like people who don’t need help.
What if pain – like love – is just a place brave people visit?
What if in skipping the pain, I was missing my lessons?
We think our job as humans is to avoid pain, our job as parents is to protect our children from pain, and our job as friends is to fix each other’s pain. Maybe that’s why we all feel like failures so often – because we all have the wrong job description for love.
I have met my self and I am going to care for her fiercely.
Life is hard – not because we’re doing it wrong, just because it’s hard.
Reading is my inhale and writing is my exhale.
It’s ok to feel too much and know too little.
So what is it in a human life that creates bravery, kindness, wisdom, and reilience? What if it’s pain? What if it’s the struggle?
The journey is learning that pain, like love, is simply something to surrender to. It’s a holy space we can enter with people only if we promise not to tidy up.
What I want to be, girls, is beautiful. Beautiful means ‘full of beauty.’ Beautiful is not about how you look on the outside. Beautiful is about what you’re made of. Beautiful people spend time discovering what their idea of beauty on this earth is. They know themselves well enough to know what they love, and they love themselves enough to fill up with a little of their particular kind of beauty each day.
My courage will come from knowing I can handle whatever I encounter there – because I was designed by my creator to not only survive pain and love but also to become whole inside it. I was born to do this. I am a Warrior.
They look because she’s lovely but they stare because she is love.