Life without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull.
The book of Genesis, a farrago of nonsense so wholly absurd that even Sunday-school scholars have to be threatened with Hell to make them accept it.
I hate sports the way people who like sports hate common sense.
Every complex problem has a simple solution that doesn’t work.
The intellectual heritage of the race belongs to the minority.
Whatever the label on the parties, or the war cries issuing from the demagogues who lead them, the practical choice is between the plutocracy on the one side and a rabble of preposterous impossibilists on the other.
There are some people who read too much: The bibliobibuli.
The average woman must inevitably view her actual husband with a certain disdain; he is anything but her ideal. In consequence, she cannot help feeling that her children are cruelly handicapped by the fact that he is their father.
The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow married her.
Some immemorial imbecilities have been added deliberately, on the ground that it is just as interesting to note how foolish men have been as to note how wise they have been.
Socialism: nothing more than the theory that the slave is always more virtuous than his master.
Love, to the inferior man, remains almost wholly a physical matter. The heroine he most admires is the one who offers the grossest sexual provocation; the hero who makes his wife roll her eyes is a perambulating phallus.
Los Angeles: nineteen suburbs in search of a metropolis.
Psychotherapy is the theory that the patient will probably get well anyhow and is certainly a damn fool.
No sane man objects to palpable lies about him; what he objects to is damaging facts.
It is almost impossible for an Anglo-Saxon to write of sex without being dirty.
I believe that all government is evil, in that all government must necessarily make war on liberty, and that the democratic government is at least as bad as any of the other forms.
When a private citizen is robbed, a worthy man is deprived of the fruits of his industry and thrift; when the government is robbed, the worst that happens is that certain rogues and loafers have less money to play with than they had before.
The American people, I am convinced, really detest free speech. At the slightest alarm they are ready and eager to put it down.
The learned are seldom pretty fellows, and in many cases their appearance tends to discourage a love of study in the young.