Experiences shape the brain, but the brain shapes the way we view experiences, too.
Keep an open heart. We are wired to find love.
People live for love. They kill for love. They die for love. They have songs, poems, novels, sculptures, paintings, myths, legends. It’s one of the most powerful brain systems on Earth for both great joy and great sorrow.
Barriers tend to intensify romance. It’s called the ‘Romeo and Juliet effect.’ I call it ‘frustration attraction.’
From my studies of genetics and neuroscience I have come to believe that people fall into four broad personality types – each influenced by a different brain chemical: I call them the Explorer, Builder, Director, and Negotiator.
You fall in love with somebody who fits within what I call your ‘love map,’ an unconscious list of traits that you build in childhood as you grow up. And I also think that you gravitate to certain people, actually, with somewhat complementary brain systems.
Romantic love is an obsession. It possesses you. You lose your sense of self. You can’t stop thinking about another human being.
The main characteristics of romantic love are craving: an intense craving to be with a particular person, not just sexually, but emotionally.