Sometimes you might think the machines we worship make all the chief appointments, promoting the human beings who seem closest to them.
Public opinion polls are rather like children in a garden, digging things up all the time to see how they’re growing.
Perhaps it would be better not to be a writer, but if you must, then write.
Accidents, try to change them – it’s impossible. The accidental reveals man.
Any fool can be fussy and rid himself of energy all over the place, but a man has to have something in him before he can settle down to do nothing.
I’m in the business of providing people with secondary satisfactions. It wouldn’t have done me much good if they had all written their own plays, would it?
Production goes up and up because high pressure advertising and salesmanship constantly create new needs that must be satisfied: this is Admass- a consumer’s race with donkeys chasing an electric carrot.
What a grand, higgledy-piggledy, sensible old place Norwich is!
To put failure behind you, face up to it.
To make the most of Christmas, focus on Christ.
To love to teach is one thing, to love those you teach is another.
In a matriarchy men should be encouraged to take it easy, for most women prefer live husbands to blocks of shares and seats on the board.
Most writers enjoy two periods of happiness when a glorious idea comes to mind and, secondly, when a last page has been written and you haven’t had time to know how much better it ought to be.
The people who pretend that dying is rather like strolling into the next room always leave me unconvinced. Death, like birth, must be a tremendous event.
Marriage is like paying an endless visit in your worst clothes.
In plain words: now that Britain has told the world that she has the H-Bomb she should announce as early as possible that she has done with it, that she proposes to reject in all circumstances nuclear warfare.
In spite of recent jazzed-up one-day matches, cricket to be fully appreciated demands leisure, some sunny warm days and an understanding of its finer points.
Western man is schizophrenic.
I have always been a grumbler. I am designed for the part – sagging face, weighty underlip, rumbling, resonant voice. Money couldn’t buy a better grumbling outfit.
Depending upon shock tactics is easy, whereas writing a good play is difficult. Pubic hair is no substitute for wit.