Ja izvinjajus. Ja ne xotel vas oskorbit.
You want a complicated relationship, get a cat. Men are as complex as ferns. Don’t overthink it.
Or is that normal? I don’t know. I’ve never visited Emotionville before. So far, it’s quite confusing. I wish I had a map.
How the hell does a twenty-something yoga instructor who barely scraped through college, has never had a long-term boyfriend, and looks like she buys her clothes at a Tinker Bell estate sale get so confident?
Just because trash can be recycled doesn’t mean you deserve another chance.
I’m not good for you.” “So you’ve said. Wine and cheeseburgers aren’t good for me either, but they’re literally two of my favorite things.
I’m trying to find a fatal flaw for insurance.” “Insurance? Against what?” I open my mouth but stop myself before blurting, Against falling in love with you.
I’ll wait forever if I have to.” That’s it. There’s nothing else, except a signature scratched below the words. Dante.
I do have old-fashioned, inflexible ideas about gender roles. But trust me when I say that they’re all to your benefit. Now, will you let me open the door to the bloody bookshop for you, or will your wee feminist ego insist we arm wrestle over it?
Here are the rules.” Rules. For me? Hilarious. But I’m pretending to be cooperative, so I sit patiently and listen instead of laughing in his face. “One: I don’t tolerate disobedience. If I give you an order, you follow it.” Magic Eight Ball says: outlook not so good.
She’s everything I’ve ever wanted and so much more than I could ever deserve, and I know without doubt that I will love this woman until my last breath. I’ll love her until the earth stops spinning and the sun flames out and all the stars fall from the sky. I’ll love her forever. My wife. My viper. My warrior. My queen. I will worship at your feet for all eternity.
So this is love. What a nightmare.
I’ve surprised him. I like that I’ve surprised him. He doesn’t seem like a man who’s taken aback by much of anything. “You don’t have a man, then.” Wow. How he managed to make that sound like, “Bend over the table and lift up your skirt,” I’ll never know. Carla was right: the man is fire.
Kings have to move the pawns at their disposal. It’s just what kings do. As for the pawns, well, they might not have a king’s power, but they can still make themselves useful.
Even small dragons can still breathe fire.
Exactly how many vibrators do you own? I’m only asking because this drawer here seems to be filled to overflowing. That hot-pink one might be my favorite.
Whatever love asks of you must be given, no matter the price. And I’d gladly give what love asked of me a thousand times over. Even if I had to do it every day until the end of eternity, I’d slice open my own veins with a razor blade and happily bleed myself dry.
I sometimes wonder what will be left on my to-do list when I die.
And another thing. Learn to stop saying ‘Sorry,’ and say ‘Don’t interrupt me.’ Learn to say ‘No’ and ‘None of your business.’ Learn to be unapologetic for who you are and what you like and the opinions you hold. I.
I reach up and stroke his beard, smiling. “You’re a psychopath.” “Don’t try to flirt your way out of this.” That makes me smile wider. “Only you would think a woman calling you a psychopath is flirting.