Life is too short to miss out on anything, even if it’s pain.
Because loneliness can kill you. And even if it doesn’t kill you physically – which it certainly can, disease of the psyche often leads to disease of the flesh – it can kill your soul.
Marriage is an institution built on white lies and denial.
Ah, lassie. If it were anyone else but family who made you cry like this, they’d already be in an ambulance.
Now that is a man. My ovaries just fainted.” “Mine are doing the Macarena.
I think sometimes it’s easier for a man to be the worst version of himself than to let the world keep breaking his heart.
I always thought love was a pair of shackles, but I was wrong. Love was the opened door of a cage.
That’s the most important thing. Stand up to bullies. Even if you accomplish nothing else with your life, standing up to a bully is enough. Bravery is an end to itself. That’s what God or the universe or the sacred sparkle pony or whatever you call it wants. For us to learn to be brave and to do the right thing. In my humble opinion, that’s the real meaning of life.
She’s not the running-off type,” I said. “She’s more the light-you-on-fire-and-walk-calmly-away-while-you-burn-to-ashes type.
By now I’ve mastered the art of noticing his bulge without looking directly at it, a Jedi-level skill.
So the charity gala was to raise money for wounded veterans. I was surprised it wasn’t for something more superficial, like Billionaires Without Trophy Wives or the Southern Selfish Jerk Fund.
He winks at me. “Butt crack juice. Sourced fresh this mornin’.
Lincoln and I were twins.
His lip was curled. His eyes were narrowed. His nose was stuck so far up in the air, I wondered if he’d come in from the rain to avoid drowning.
A healthy body is a gift. Don’t take it for granted. Don’t treat it like some cheap one-night stand. Treat it like the love of your life. Treat it with respect and tenderness, but most of all, gratitude.
My point is that I’m aware of my shortcomings. Because I know I’m not perfect, I don’t expect other people to be perfect, either. The only thing I demand from anyone – whether they like me or not – is that they’re real. Whatever and whoever they are, they own it. They don’t make fuckin’ excuses. I hate excuses.
Paradise isn’t a garden. It isn’t heaven, or some faraway, mythical place. Paradise is in the small, silent space between the faces of two lovers as they share their bodies and breath.
Just before he died, my father asked me what I thought heaven was like. I told him heaven was a library that had a lot of comfortable chairs, good lighting, and every book ever written. If I lived here, I’d spend all my time in this room.
Food is fuel, but it’s also comfort. The trouble happens when it becomes more comfort than fuel. But that’s what hugs are for.
You’re the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. Sassy goddamn woman. No one ever spoke to me.