And though Remi was having worklife problems and bad lovelife with a sharp-tongued woman, he at least had learned to laugh almost better than anyone in the world, and I saw all the fun we were going to have in Frisco.
And so we picked up our bags, he the trunk with his one good arm and I the rest, and staggered to the cable-car stop; in a moment rolled down the hill with our legs dangling to the sidewalk from the jiggling shelf, two broken-down heroes of the Western night.
Nevertheless we understood each other on all levels of madness...
I liked him; not because he was a good sort, as he later proved to be, but because he was enthusiastic about things.
I sat cross-legged in the sand and contemplated my life. Well, there, and what difference did it make? “What’s going to happen to me up ahead?
Everything belongs to me because I am poor.
This is the beginning and the end of the world right here. Look at those patient Buddhas lookin at us saying nothing.
To make the sea your own, to watch over it, to brood your very soul into it, to accept it and love it as though only it mattered and existed.
I never dwelt on the dark farcical furious real life of this roaring working world, wow.
I realize all the uncountable manifestations the thinking-mind invents to place wall of horror before its pure perfect realization that there is no wall and no horror just Transcendental Empty Kissable Milk Light of Everlasting Eternity’s true and perfectly empty nature.
You’re a Genius all the time.
Every now and then a clear harmonic cry gave new suggestions of a tune that would someday be the only tune in the word and would raise mean’s souls to joy.
I know the secrets; I dig Joyce and Proust above Melville and Celine.
Can’t you just see all those enlightened monkey men sitting around a roaring woodfire around their Buddha saying nothing and knowing everything?
I felt like telling Japhy everything I thought but I knew it didn’t matter and moreover he knew it anyway and silence is the golden mountain.
When I got better I realized what a rat he was, but then I had to understand the impossible complexity of his life, how he had to leave me there, sick, to get on with his wives and woes.
As we rode in the bus in the weird phosphorescent void of the Lincoln Tunnel we leaned on each other with fingers waving and yelled and talked excitedly, and I was beginning to get the bug like Dean.
She is giving me my life back and not claiming it for herself as so many of the women you love do claim.
I’d also gone through an entire year of celibacy based on my feeling that lust was the direct cause of birth which was the direct cause of suffering and death and I had really no lie come to a point where I regarded lust as offensive and even cruel.
Ah the mad hearts of all of us.