What difference does it make after all? For what’s heaven? What’s Earth? All in the mind.
And I saw how everybody dies and nobody’s going to care. I felt how it is to live just so you can die like a bull trapped in a screaming human ring.
I don’t want to be courageous, my emotions are against it; I want to be happy.
He had no idea of the impression he was making and cared less... He was finally an Angel, as I always knew he would become; but like any Angel he still had rages and furies...
I want to marry a girl,” I told them, “so I can rest my soul with her till we both get old.
I’m going to write ceaselessly about the dignity of human beings no matter who and or what they are, and the less dignity a person has the fewer words I’ll use.
Meditate outdoors. The dark trees at night are not really the dark trees at night, it’s only the golden eternity.
Says, Rahula! Rahula! Face of Glory! Universe chawed and swallowed!
Mad raging sunsets poured in seafoams of cloud through unimaginable crags, with every rose tint of hope beyond, I felt just like it, brilliant and bleak beyond words. Everywhere awful ice fields and snow straws; one blade of grass jiggling in the winds of infinity, anchored to a rock. To the East, it was gray; to the north, awful; to the west, raging mad, hard iron fools wrestling in the groomian gloom; to the south, my father’s mist.
I cried for it. That’s how I see life too. I was so interested in the opera that for a while I forgot the circumstances of my crazy life and got lost in the great mournful sounds of Beethoven and the rich Rembrandt tones of his story.
I saw letters he wrote at age 14 before his recent spell of silence: they were perfectly normal and better than average writings, in fact sensitive and better than anything I could have written at 14 when I also was an innocent introverted monster.
Everything was everlastingly loose and responsive, it was all everywhere beyond the truth, beyond emptyspace blue.
There are also silent drinkers with big chapped red fists around silent glasses, huddled over, figuring out ways to get their wives outa their thoughts and you can see their mouths lengthen down and draw sorrow almost as you look.
Life is not an apology.
They’ll eat your heart alive Every time.
He was simply a youth tremendously excited with life, and though he was a con-man, he was only conning because he wanted so much to live and to get involved with people who would otherwise pay no attention to him.
I walked around the sad honkytonks of Curtis Street; young kids in jeans and red shirts; peanut shells, movie marquees, shooting parlours. Beyond the glittering street was darkness, and beyond the darkness the West. I had to go.
Actually I’m just a sick clown and so is everybody else.
I wanted to get me a full pack complete with everything necessary to sleep, shelter, eat, cook, in fact a regular kitchen and bedroom right on my back, and go off somewhere and find perfect solitude and look into the perfect emptiness of my mind and be completely neutral from any and all ideas. I intended to pray, too, as my only activity, pray for all living creatures; I saw it was the only decent activity left in the world.
There was something virile in her attitude toward tragedy, as though she were defying God to knock off the chip He Himself had placed on her shoulder.