Big Sale. Last Week.’ Last week? Why advertise? I already missed it. They’re just rubbing it in.
The truth will set you free, its the little white lies that’ll save your ass.
Why did Piglet, Eeyore, and Christopher Robin stick their heads down the toilet? Easy. They were looking for Pooh.
These are the cafeteria ladies. I call them Millie, Billie, and Tilly. I think they’re part of a government program to get rid of the middle school population in this country, one lunch at a time.
However, I had been hoping that Donald Trump would just drop me off in one of his helicopters.
Terrible. This morning, when I put on my underwear, I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.
A COINCIDENCE in a police investigation is like an honest man in politics.
He was laid-back. Drugs’ll do that to a person. Take a pill and you’re not really crazy anymore.
I like that old country song? A good-hearted woman in love with a good-timing man?
Have faith and pursue the unknown end.” Oliver Wendell Holmes said that. I have faith. I pursue the unknown. That’s my job description.
The next day I picked up my electric guitar and amp at a tag sale. Grandma Dotty loves tag sales, and somehow she managed to bargain with the guy who was selling them, until we paid just three dollars.
One good thing is that I’ve been following the priest’s orders to meditate on how I’ve hurt people. It’s helped me recognize that we can’t help but make mistakes, even when our intentions are good.
I dumped half a cup of green tea into the sink. To hell with my chakras. I needed coffee.
The more you read, the better you get at it.
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. As.
Hope attacking doubt. It seemed crazy.
Somehow all troubles and cares seemed to diminish when you were with the people you loved. Then.
Galapagos tortoise,” she said. “I’m one hundred and seven years old.” “Huh. And you don’t look a day over a hundred and five,” I said.
E is definitely the biggest ERROR my mother has ever made – worse than the time she designed a litter-box-cleaning robot that flung clumps of kitty poop all over the house.
What’s good for the goose is definitely good for the desperate housewife. Even if this never happened again.