You were worried about me?” “No,” Hal said. “I was worried Ranger would kill me if I lost you.
Adaptation is one of the great advantages to being born and bred in Jersey. We’re simply not bested by bad air or tainted water. We’re like that catfish with lungs.
One minute I was having a day like any other, and then Whack an this guy didn’t have no head“ Lula Finger Lickin 15.
Hell, bravery didn’t have anything to do with it. I was shitfaced.
The law is for people who have nothing to hide.
I might be a stay-at-home mother someday, but I’ll always be trying to fly off the garage roof. That’s just who I am.
Einstein famously said if at first an idea is not absurd, there’s no hope for it.
There’s no such thing as semi-legal.
He pulled his nose out of her cleavage and turned to me. “Gaylord Brown,” he said. “It’s the perfect name because I’m gay and I’m brown.
Which was one reason why Revolt of the Zombie Strippers was being shot in Gallup and not in a warehouse in Van Nuys.
Did you pack an extra gun?” “Of course,” she said. “You can never have too many weapons.” Jake smiled. “I raised you right.
Your grandmother needs a ride to the viewing, and I’m holding you responsible if she shoots someone, gets arrested, or tries to take a selfie with the deceased.
I was pretty sure this time “Babe” meant I was giving him a cramp in his sphincter.
If you had told somebody in the year 1800 that there were invisible things called germs and that they were responsible for the common cold, he would have thought that you were crazy and believed in magic,” Emerson said. “Today, everybody simply accepts it as fact, despite that they’ve never seen or knowingly touched a germ.
A gift card says I feel obligated to get you something, but I don’t care enough to put any effort into finding just the right gift.
Lula fired off a shot that went wide, and Poletti charged Briggs. Grandma swung her purse just as Poletti swept past her. The big black patent leather bag caught Poletti on the side of the head, and Poletti staggered and crashed to the ground. Ranger cuffed him, and the three cops took over.
Ranger unlocked my door, pulled me to him, and kissed me. The kiss started out gentle and finished with enough heat to raise the temperature in the hallway by ten degrees.
There was only one way I could see managing this. I got out, ran around the car, opened his door, and straddled him with one leg outside and one foot on the console. Beeeeeep! My ass was on the horn. Beeeep, beeeep, beeeep, beepbeepbeepbeepbeep! A bead of sweat streaked down the side of Ranger’s face. “Babe.
It says here she held up a Frito-Lay truck?” “Apparently she was on that no-carbohydrate diet, got her period and snapped when she saw the truck parked in front of a convenience store. Just got whacked out at the thought of all those chips. She threatened the driver with a nail file, filled her car with bags of Fritos, and took off, leaving the driver standing there in front of his empty truck.
That’s why I’m not on social media. People are way too open about their private lives. I don’t need to see pictures of what somebody had for lunch or hear about how difficult their last bowel movement was or see on a map where they were when either one happened.