Let someone take away any sense of privacy or security you might still possess. Then have someone use that insecurity to satisfy their own twisted curiosity.
There are so many things prickling in the back of my mind, threatening to take me out of this moment. But instead of worrying about anything, I close my eyes, lean forward, and allow myself to believe in us.
What everyone thought of me was out of my control.
Looking back, i stopped writting in my notebook when i stopped wanting to know myself anymore.
I wanted people to trust me, despite anything they’d heard. And more than that, I wanted them to know me. Not the stuff they thought they knew about me. No, the real me. I wanted them to get past the rumors. To see beyond the relationships I once had, or maybe still had but that they didn’t agree with. And if I wanted people to treat me that way, then I had to do the same for them, right?
You can’t go back to how things were. How you thought they were.
And for the first time in a long time, I felt hope.
Sometimes, there’s no one around to tell you to be quiet... to be very, very quiet. Sometimes you need to be quiet when you’re all alone.
As she does, she turns her hand over, lacing her fingers into mine. For as many nerve endings as I thought I had in my hand, I now realize there are a hundred times more.
You’ve heard of the butterfly effect, right? That if a butterfly flaps its wings at just the right time in just the right place. It can cause a hurricane thousands of miles away. It’s chaos theory, but see, chaos theory isn’t exactly about chaos. It’s about how a tiny change in a big system can affect everything.
Hey, it’s Hannah. Hannah Baker.
Did you know dimples are actually a deformity?” he continues. “It means he has a muscle in his face that grew too short. It’s kind if gross if you think about it.
You don’t belong in the same way as the others. It’s like that song: One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just doesn’t belong.
But my eyes kept staring at the glass – through the glass – at the spoon. And I kept thinking, over and over, Is this what it feels like to go insane?
Nadie sabe lo que sucede en la vida de nadie, salvo en la propia. Y cuando le arruinas una parte de la vida a alguien, no le arruinas solo aquella parte. Desafortunadamente, no se puede ser tan preciso y selectivo. Cuando le arruinas una parte de su vida, le arruinas la vida entera.
And then we turn 18 and even though we never had an original thought we have to make the most important decission of our lives.
I stood there and watched you disappear. Forever.
The kisses felt like first kisses. Kisses that said I could start over if I wanted to. With him.
And then... well... certain thoughts begin creeping around. Will I ever get control of my life? Will I always be shoved back and pushed around by those I trust?
When someone says your name like that, when they won’t even look you in the eyes, there is nothing more you can do or say. Their mind is made up.