I lie back down and close my eyes and imagine his arms are still around me, and that’s how I fall asleep.
And I know now too that in some small measure I have the power to hurt him and also the power to make it better.
Everybody had somebody but me.
Boys will be boys, but girls are supposed to be careful: of our bodies, of our futures, of all the ways people judge us.
Envy so thick and so black I felt like I was choking on it.
It’s the good-byes that are hard.
Smirky mouths make you want to kiss them, to smooth them out and kiss the smirkiness away.
I know Josh and I will mend things, because we’re neighbors, and that’s how it goes with people you see a lot. They mend, almost on their own. But not so for Margot and Josh, with her so far away. If they don’t talk now, the scar will only harden over time, it will calcify, and then they’ll be like strangers who never loved each other, which is the saddest thought of all.
So that’s where I get it from. My dad. He lives in a fantasy world.
What I really want to say is Peter will always pick Lara Jean over Genevieve.
Love can go away, or people can, without even meaning to. Nothing is guaranteed.
I like that I am needed, that I am beholden to somebody.
A slow-motion train wreck. For something to go this colossally wrong, everything must intersect and collide at the exact right, or in this case, wrong, moment.
He smiled at me, and that smile – he just gets in. His smile did it every time.
It’s starting to make sense to me. Why he’d go along with a scheme like this, why he’d spend his time with someone like me. It’s not so he can move on from Gen. It’s so he can’t. I’m just his excuse. I’m holding Genevieve’s place for her. When that piece makes sense, everything else starts to.
That’s the whole point of an adventure. Pack light and figure the rest out as you go.
You treated her like garbage and now you decide you want her back.
Maybe I wasn’t worth remembering.
It sure is nice being part of a group, feeling like I belong.
In the whole history of my letters, of my liking boys, not once has a boy liked me back at the same time as I liked him. It was always me alone, longing after a boy, and that was fine, that was safe.