I thought I knew what heartbreak felt like. I thought heartbreak was me, standing alone at the prom. That was nothing. This, this was heartbreak. The pain in your chest, the ache behind your eyes... You think you know love, you think you know real pain, but you don’t.
I just – want to always know that you’re okay. It’s important to me.
I live in reality, unlike you. You’d rather live in a fantasy world than see people for who they really are.
I wished there was something I could say to take that look away, but sometimes there just weren’t words.
I realised it suddenly. I missed him. All this time. When you got to the underneath of it, there it was. There it had always been. And even though he was sitting there only feet away, I missed him more than ever.
I envied their relationship. They were exactly like copilots, in perfect balance. I didn’t have that kind of friendship, the forever kind of friendship that will last your whole life through, no matter what.
I felt a sudden rush of affection for her. Nostalgia, a shared history, counted for a lot. More than I’d realized.
In some ways, he was the same Jeremiah, but in other ways, I could see how this had changed him. Had aged him. Everything took more effort, his jokes, his smiles. Nothing was easy anymore.
It was so much better driving with the windows down. It felt like you were actually going somewhere.
My heart swelled. There are some things only a friend who’s known you your whole life can say, and instantly, I felt a little better.
When I was a kid, anytime I had to go anywhere, I ran.
It wasn’t enough to know that deep down, he loved me. You had to actually say it to somebody, show them that you cared. And he just didn’t. Not enough.
What else had I remembered wrong? I was a person who loved to play Remember When in my head. I’d always prided myself on how I remembered every detail. It scared me to think that my memories could be just ever-so-slightly wrong.
Susannah wanted it to be some kind of perfect summer, where parents were still together and everything was the way it had always been. Those kind of summers don’t exist anymore, I wanted to tell her.
Go to Jeremiah. He’s the one who wants you,” Conrad said. “I don’t. I never did.
Catching him off guard felt like a good sign. He had a million walls. Maybe if I just started talking, he wouldn’t have time to build up a new one.
I didn’t know where I was going, I just wanted to get away from him. He called out, “I still love you.” I froze. And then slowly, I turned around to look at him. “Don’t say that.” He took a step closer. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get you out of my system, not completely. I have... this feeling. That you’ll always be there. Here.” Conrad clawed at his heart and then dropped his hand.
That night, I didn’t sleep at all. I stayed up, thinking about what to do. What was the right thing to do? Because I knew I loved you. But I knew I shouldn’t. I didn’t have the right to love anybody then.
If I kept you with me, I was going to hurt you somehow. I knew it. I couldn’t have it. So I let you go.
If not for you, I would not have written this book. Truly, this one is for you.