The more we know about how we lost our spontaneous wonder and creativity, the more we can find ways to get them back.
I have never met an aggressive person who wasn’t a fearful person.
Since the earliest period of our life was preverbal, everything depended on emotional interaction. Without someone to reflect our emotions, we had no way of knowing who we were.
I believe that this neglected, wounded, inner child of the past is the major source of human misery.
Most people who have survived abuse have great strength.
Arrogance is a way for a person to cover up shame. After years of arrogance, the arrogant person is so out of touch, she truly doesn’t know who she is. This is one of the greatest tragedies of shame cover-ups: not only does the person hide from others, she also hides from herself.
It is a mark of soulfulness to be present in the here and now. When we are present, we are not fabricating inner movies. We are seeing what is before us.
Condemning others as bad or sinful is a way to feel righteous. Such a feeling is a powerful mood alteration and can become highly addictive.
Evil is a source of moral intelligence in the sense that we need to learn from our shadow, from our dark side, in order to be good.
I know from my own clinical work that when people are beaten and hurt, they numb out so that they cant feel anymore.
Our beliefs create the kind of world we believe in. We project our feelings, thoughts and attitudes onto the world. I can create a different world by changing my belief about the world. Our inner state creates the outer and not vice versa.
Growing up means leaving home and becoming a self supporting adult. I think this the hardest task any human being hast to face.
Children need parents who model self-discipline rather than preach it. They learn from what their parents are actually willing to do; not from what they say they do.
The foundation for our self-image is grounded in the first three years of life. It comes from our major caretaker’s mirroring.
The most paradoxical aspect of neurotic shame is that it is the core motivator of the superachieved and the underachieved, the star and the scapegoat, the righteous and the wretched, the powerful and the pathetic.
All these feelings need to be felt. We need to stomp and storm; to sob and cry; to perspire and tremble.
We move from the illusion of certainty, to the certainty of illusion.
Chronically dysfunctioning families are also delusional. Delusion is sincere denial.
Science has so far been unable to tell us how self-aware dogs are, much less whether they have anything like our conscious thoughts. This is not surprising, since neither scientists nor philosophers can agree about what the consciousness of humans consists of, let alone that of animals.
Children are curious and are risk takers. They have lots of courage. They venture out into a world that is immense and dangerous. A child initially trusts life and the processes of life.