A lot of media that that I want to consume, I don’t want to have to own forever and ever. It’s not like real estate.
All I can ask from society is that it please stop telling me why I should like sports.
Any time you try to create an Internet meme, automatic fail. That’s like the worst thing you can do.
I suspect that when the truth ceases to be heartbreakingly funny, we will be in a better place and a happier society over all.
I am someone who values truth – actual truth as opposed to ‘truthiness.’
As you know, the thing that I know the least about is the topic of sports.
Comedy does offer an avenue to television and film careers for untelegenic people that great drama does not.
Creating fake facts does require a measure of haphazard research, insofar as they need to not just be possible, but also interesting.
Generally speaking, I, like anyone else who does anything publicly, like it when people like what I do, and would like to hear as much.
Hosting a TV show is a full-time job in which success is defined by it never ending.
I am not an Internet superstar.
I think for the foreseeable future, the truth is going to be awful and funny all at the same time.
I have learned that newborn infants roll their eyes around and move their heads and their arms in short jerky spasms. And if you homeschool them, they will stay this way forever.
I know electric knives are excellent for carving turkeys that have had their bones removed and been forced into a mold to shape them. Please note that those turkeys are called hams.
My fame is due to broadcast television.
From a very selfish point of view, I’m enchanted by the idea that a politician can come along and speak simply and clearly and truthfully to an electorate as though they are grown-ups and to feel the electorate respond to that.
Part of the transaction between writer and reader is the pleasure of building a community and encouraging people to play along.
People who run for president seriously and people who become president enter a bizarre secret society in which they have had an experience that none of us will ever have.
People like what they like. They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do.
My candidacy is a compelling argument for my candidacy. I want to be President.