Oh, we’re playing nice now? Shall we have tea first? Brew up a nice pot of kiss-my-ass?
Touch her, and I’ll freeze your testicles off and put them in a jar. Understand?
No, no. We can kill each other later.
Me? Die? Didn’t they tell you, princess? I’m Robin Goodfellow.
His breath hitched, and he regarded me hungrily. “You’re playing with fire, you know that?” “That’s weird, considering you’re an ice prin – ” I didn’t get any further, as Ash leaned in and kissed me.
My fall began, as many stories do, with a girl.
Ash blinked. “Are you raiding the cellars now, Goodfellow?” “Me? Stealing?” Puck flashed a devious grin and popped another fruit into his mouth. “In the house of my ancient enemy? What gave you that idea?” He plucked another fruit and tossed it to me with a wink.
You made me feel alive again.
I was minding my own buisness long before you and the princess started humping like rabbits.
You enjoy making my heart stop, don’t you?
Metallic trees. That’s new. If you see any steel dryads, be sure to tell me so I can run away screaming.
I’ve always wanted the IQ of a rock. No, wait. That would be an insult to the rock.
My, aren’t we bossy today. Give a girl an army and it goes straight to her head.
Oh, look at that, he’s heard of me. My fame grows.
Careful, human.” Grimalkin appeared on the corner of the stage, overshadowed by the dead chimera. “Do not lose your heart to a faery prince. It never ends well.
You’re here, and the only dance I want is this one.
Be careful, boy. In some tales, the hero gets eaten by the monster after all.
I want her to be happy, and she’s most happy with you. Maybe this will make up for... past mistakes.” He shook his head and returned to his normal idiocy. “So, either you say, ‘Sure, I’d love to have you along,’ or you have a big bird dropping things on your head the whole trip.
Part of me wanted to walk up to him and hug him from behind, and part of me wanted to hurl a snowball at his perfect face to get some kind of reaction.
What if I take you apart and turn you into a toaster oven, how would you like that tin can?