If something is stolen from you, don’t go to the police. They’re not interested. Don’t go to a psychologist either, because he’s interested in only one thing: that it was really you who did the stealing.
Today’s literature: prescriptions written by patients.
A bibliophile has approximately the same relationship to literature as a philatelist to geography.
If you wish to form a clear judgment on your friends, consult your dreams.
The blind won’t admit that I have eyes in my head, and the deaf say that I’m dumb.
Sorrento, August. For two weeks now I haven’t heard a German word or understood an Italian one. This way one can manage to live with people; everything goes like clockwork and no irksome misunderstanding can arise.
I master only the language of others. Mine does with me what it wants.
I have drawn from the well of language many a thought which I do not have and which I could not put into words.
A poem is good until one knows by whom it is.
Satire chooses and knows no objects. It arises by fleeing from them and their forcing themselves upon it.
A plagiarist should be made to copy the author a hundred times.
Nothing is more horrible than my self in the mirror of hysteria. Nothing is more vulgar than my style in the hands of another. Toimitate me is to punish me.
I would have stage-fright if I had to speak with every one of the people before whom I speak.
Many share my views with me. But I don’t share them with them.
Technology is a servant who makes so much noise cleaning up in the next room that his master cannot make music.
The development of technology will leave only one problem: the infirmity of human nature.
Barbershop conversations are irrefutable proof that heads exist for the sake of hair.
I trim my opponents to fit my arrows.
Since the law prohibits the keeping of wild animals and I get no enjoyment from pets, I prefer to remain unmarried.
Cosmetics is the science of a woman’s cosmos.