I have drawn from the well of language many a thought which I do not have and which I could not put into words.
A poem is good until one knows by whom it is.
Satire chooses and knows no objects. It arises by fleeing from them and their forcing themselves upon it.
A plagiarist should be made to copy the author a hundred times.
Nothing is more horrible than my self in the mirror of hysteria. Nothing is more vulgar than my style in the hands of another. Toimitate me is to punish me.
I would have stage-fright if I had to speak with every one of the people before whom I speak.
Many share my views with me. But I don’t share them with them.
Technology is a servant who makes so much noise cleaning up in the next room that his master cannot make music.
The development of technology will leave only one problem: the infirmity of human nature.
Barbershop conversations are irrefutable proof that heads exist for the sake of hair.
I trim my opponents to fit my arrows.
Since the law prohibits the keeping of wild animals and I get no enjoyment from pets, I prefer to remain unmarried.
Cosmetics is the science of a woman’s cosmos.
A healthy man is content with a woman. An erotic man is content with a stocking to get to a woman. A sick man is content with thestocking.
I like to hold a monologue with women. But a dialogue with myself is more stimulating.
Since the day man first tried to conquer space, the earth has been mobilizing.
An artist should make concessions to the listener. That is why Bruckner dedicated one of his symphonies to the Good Lord.
In the theater one must sit in such a way that one sees the audience as a dark mass. Then it cannot bother one more than it does an actor. Nothing is more disturbing than being able to distinguish individuals in the crowd.
Sound opinions are valueless. What matters is who holds them.
Not greeting people isn’t enough. One also doesn’t greet people one doesn’t know.