That’s just the human condition, sweetheart. We’re always doomed to waste our time.
I had finally come to understand that not getting what you want is actually the trick to it all. Because not getting what you want forces you to appreciate what you already have.
Choose joy on purpose.
We made a choice to do joy on purpose. Not in spite of life’s sorrows. But because of them.
You let your grief make you bitter. You let your suffering make you cruel. Want to know what that makes you? A villain. That’s every comic book villain ever! They suffer, and then they inflict suffering on others. Good guys do the opposite. Good guys suffer, too – but they respond by helping.
Forgiveness is about a mind-set of letting go.” She thought for a second, then said, “It’s about acknowledging to yourself that someone hurt you, and accepting that.” Done, I thought. “Then it’s about accepting that the person who hurt you is flawed, like all people are, and letting that guide you to a better, more nuanced understanding of what happened.
After all, life will hand each one of us our fair share of despair and loss and suffering – and then some. That’s certain. But just as certain: It will also give us slices of chocolate cake, and sunny, seventy-two-degree days, and breezes that rustle the trees. Good things are so easy to overlook, but that doesn’t make them any less there.
You have to be brave with your life, so that others can be brave with theirs.
John Gottman is a researcher who looks at what marriages need to thrive, and one of the many things he talks about is creating a “culture of appreciation” in a relationship – where partners focus on and savor the things about each other that they love.
This was a moment in time that was already lost.
Life is full of danger. Terrible things happen all the time. That doesn’t mean you live your life in fear.
Wake up. Feel angry. Avoid human contact. Smash dishes. Repeat.
Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness, by Ingrid.
The best revenge is marrying a kind hearted guy with a washboard stomach who brings you coffee in bed every morning.
Joy is an antidote to fear. To anger. To boredom. To sorrow.” “But you can’t just decide to feel joyful.” “True. But you can decide to do something joyful.” I considered that. “You can hug somebody. Or crank up the radio. Or watch a funny movie. Or tickle somebody. Or lip-synch your favorite song. Or buy the person behind you at Starbucks a coffee. Or wear a flower hat to work.
It’s a deliberate kind of joy. It’s a conscious kind of joy. It’s joy on purpose.” Duncan squinted like he really wasn’t sold. “In clown socks and a tutu.” “I’m telling you. I know all about darkness. That’s why I am so hell-bent, every damn day, on looking for the light.
She knew that joy and sorrow walked side by side. She knew that being alive meant risking one for the other. And she also knew, as I was starting to understand in a whole new way, that it was always better to dance than to refuse.
But you can decide to do something joyful.
You can’t live your whole life in fear. You can’t insulate yourself from everything. Kids get hurt all the time – but we don’t make them wear bicycle helmets everywhere. You take reasonable precautions, and then you hope for the best. That’s all you can do.
At this point, it was more like a collage than a picture. Lots of little pieces and some glue.