But life doesn’t often spell things out for you or give you what you want exactly when you want it, otherwise it wouldn’t be called life, it would be called vending machine.
As my friend Oliver Platt used to say to me about hopes and dreams I’d share with him: ‘It’s coming, just not on your time frame.
Because who wants to Fast Forward anyway? You might miss some of the good parts.
I guess what I’m saying is, let’s keep lifting each other up. It’s not lost on me that two of the biggest opportunities I’ve had to break into the next level were given to me by successful women in positions of power. If I’m ever in that position and you ask me, “Who?” I’ll do my best to say, “You” too. But in order to get there, you may have to break down the walls of whatever it is that’s holding you back first. Ignore the doubt – it’s not your friend – and just keep going, keep going, keep going.
I still find that, in general, having a plan is, well, a good plan. But when my carefully laid plan laughed at me, rather than clutch at it too tightly I just made a new one, even if it was one that didn’t immediately make sense. In blindly trying a different path, I accidentally found one that worked better. So don’t let your plan have the last laugh, but laugh last when your plan laughs, and when your plan has the last laugh, laugh back, laughing!
It’s good to be bored in the car, I always tell him. Spend some time with just yourself and your thoughts and nothing to do. How else will you learn who you are?
Because here’s the thing: I was fine on my own, and so are you. But it can be hard when you feel ready for Happy Couplehood and you seem to have missed the train.
Your job doesn’t define you – your bravery and kindness and gratitude do. Even without any “big” accomplishments yet to your name, you are enough. Whether you have top billing, or you’re still dancing in the back row, you are enough, just as you are.
There’s more comedy in failure than in success, and it’s a much more universal language.
Love yourself, and what you’re doing, even if you’re not yet at the place you hope to land. Let joy be the thing that drives you, and I bet you’ll get there faster. Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Those mistakes are as valuable as the triumphs.
So don’t let your plans have the last laugh, but laugh last when your plan laughs, and when your plan has the last laugh, laugh back laughing!
In blindly trying a different path, I accidentally found one that worked better.
Sometimes the idea of doing something is the most fun part, and after you go through with it, you feel deflated because you realize you’re back to looking for the next thrill.
BUT here’s a secret: The lows don’t last any longer than the highs do. Like clouds on an overcast day, sometimes we have to face the fact that what happens to us in life isn’t controllable, and if we wait a while, don’t take it personally, and decide to enjoy ourselves anyway, the sky will eventually clear up.
Because here’s the thing: I was fine on my own, and so are you.
In my experience, there’s no secret to accomplishing almost any goal worth pursuing.
Maybe it’s not acting for you. Maybe it’s baseball or coding or taking care of kids. But whatever path you choose, whatever career you decide to go after, the important thing is that you keep finding joy in what you’re doing, especially when the joy isn’t finding you. Treat every day like you’re starring in it. Don’t wait for permission or good reviews. If you can do that, you’ll be surprised by how far you might end up sailing.
Once I stopped worrying so much about pleasing others, once I decided to let myself off the hook, I realized I could fly.
Satisfaction is not found in the big achievements. It’s not in winning. Starring has nothing to do with how big your part is – it’s a state of mind.
You know how before a party you clean up your house so that everyone thinks you live that way all the time? That’s meeting someone at an awards show.