Could my problem have been that I was looking for validation in the wrong places all along?
Whoa dude. My belt came undone when you said that.
There are a few things as heartbreaking to me as seeing a person swimming in a T-shirt. And I can speak with the authority of someone who did it for years. It is conspicuous. It bogs you down. When you get out of the water, you take half the lake with you. It takes the fun out of swimming and puts a visual metaphor to the burdens of a negative body image.
It was true: I was starting to hate girls. Not that I was into the machismo of being a “manly-man.” It was just that, for boys, there seemed to be more options available: there were more ways to be a boy and still be accepted, whereas the popular girls all appeared to be cut from the same cloth. Or they were clones or something.
It’s an interesting idea, but I would challenge you to decide: Do you hate girls? Or do you hate the expectations put on girls by society?
A boy can be celebrated because of his personality and talents, regardless of how he looks. In fact, talent can make a guy attractive who may not be by traditional standards. But a girl is usually only popular if she looks good.