People will disapprove of you if you’re unhappy, or if you’re happy in The Wrong Way.
We have a terror of seeming to exert ourselves, lest it be noticed that we exerted ourselves and did not succeed.
Luck: when your burst of energy doesn’t run afoul of someone else’s.
Most of us can easily do two things at once; what’s all but impossible is to do one thing at once.
Women are the right age for just a few years; men, for most of their lives.
Few women care what a man looks like, and a good thing too.
Philosophy teaches a man that he can’t take it with him; taxes teach him he can’t leave it behind either.
Everybody can write; writers can’t do anything else.
Too much money is as demoralizing as too little, and there’s no such thing as exactly enough...
Your money, or your life. We know what to do when a burglar makes this demand of us, but not when God does.
Be glad that you’re greedy; the national economy would collapse if you weren’t.
The neurotic usually obeys his own Golden Rule: Hate thy neighbor as thyself.
Most of our diversions do not so much delay death as accustom us to it.
There’s nothing wrong with most men’s egos that the kowtowing of a headwaiter can’t cure.
So long as God reveals Himself, or doesn’t, He is behaving like God.
We work for praise, and dawdle once we have it.
All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men.
Men enjoy being thought of as hunters, but are generally too lazy to hunt. Women, on the other hand, love to hunt, but would rather nobody knew it.
Throughout our lives, we see in the mirror the same innocent trusting face we have seen there since childhood.
We are like people with short-term leases on summer cottages; we can never seem to make our provisions come out even with our stay.