Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.
I was saying “I’m the greatest” long before I believed it.
Only last week I murdered a rock, injured a stone and hospitalized a brick.
My only fault is that I don’t realize how great I really am.
Love is a net that catches hearts like a fish.
I wish people would love everybody else the way they love me. It would be a better world.
Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.
I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.
Why do I want my wife to show off her panties when the wind blows? Horses show their behinds, and cows and mules, not humans.
I shook up the world.
There are no pleasures in a fight but some of my fights have been a pleasure to win.
You can go to Japan, China, all the European, African, Arab, and South American countries, and man, they know me. I can’t name a nation where they don’t know me.
They used to draw cartoons of Jews in Germany. Later they started killing them in the Holocaust.
There’s a reason I’m known – to bring people to Allah, to God.
True success is reaching our potential without compromising our values.
When a chivalrous man makes an oath, he is faithful to it, and when he attains power, he spares his enemy.
Who’s gonna dare to be great?
Scatter abroad what you have already amassed rather than pile up new wealth.
Believe me, a thousand friends suffice thee not; In a single enemy thou hast more than enough.
I’m the greatest thing that ever lived! I’m the king of the world! I’m a bad man. I’m the prettiest thing that ever lived.