Never trust a mechanic who drives new cars. They’re either charging too much money for their work, or they can’t keep an old car running – maybe both.
A man says a lot of things in summer he doesn’t mean in winter.
Only cowards torture women.
Sometimes I have the urge to conquer large parts of Europe.
It is one of those lessons that every child should learn: Don’t play with fire, sharp objects, or ancient artifacts.
Some people are boys longer than others.
She wondered that hope was so much harder then despair.
Nothing says you’re sorry like a dead bunny.
A werewolf tossed me against a giant packing crate while I was trying to rescue a frightened young girl who’d been kidnapped by an evil witch and a drug lord.
Over a lifetime of dealing with difficult women, I have learned it is often better to give into their demands immediately.
He was like Superman, but with fangs and oddly impaired morals.