In the photo, he and some old girlfriend smiled – greasy faces idiotic with hope that the picture would one day remind them that for three seconds they acted happy and thought it final.
And I hope we meet again so you can guess how old I am by the rings around my eyes and I hope we meet again so I can judge how much I’ve died according to your limp smile.
And I know that when I run from something, there is a bigger part of me that hopes I get caught than there is that hopes I get away.
He says, “Does it ever bother you how unneeded you are, almost everywhere.
I think tomorrow I’ll burn myself on the stove so people will feel sorry for me.
Outside, I experience a bad feeling and I realize it is because I haven’t been outside for a few day so now it’s uncomfortable.
I want to have money so I can buy food and not die.
The days that people make progress are the days they feel most motivated and engaged. By creating conditions for people to make progress, shining a light on that progress, recognizing and celebrating progress, organizations can help their own cause and enrich people’s lives.
A little kid’s life bursts with autotelic experiences. Children careen from one flow moment to another, animated by a sense of joy, equipped with a mindset of possibility, and working with the dedication of a West Point cadet. They use their brains and their bodies to probe and draw feedback from the environment in an endless pursuit of mastery. Then – at some point in their lives – they don’t. What happens?
When feeling is for thinking and thinking is for doing, regret is for making us better.
A look at the research shows that regret, handled correctly, offers three broad benefits. It can sharpen our decision-making skills. It can elevate our performance on a range of tasks. And it can strengthen our sense of meaning and connectedness.
Connection regrets are the largest category in the deep structure of human regret.
Foundation regrets sound like this: If only I’d done the work.
Moral regrets sound like this: If only I’d done the right thing.
If we know what we truly regret, we know what we truly value.
Foundation regrets arise from our failures of foresight and conscientiousness. Like all deep structure regrets, they start with a choice. At some early moment, we face a series of decisions. One set represents the path of the ant. These choices require short-term sacrifice, but in the service of a long-term payoff. The other choices represent the path of the grasshopper. This route demands little exertion or assiduousness in the short run, but risks exacting a cost in the long run.
At the heart of all boldness regrets is the thwarted possibility of growth.
The lesson is plain: Speak up. Ask him out. Take that trip. Start that business. Step off the train.
But the most common negative emotion – and the second most common emotion of any kind – was regret. The only emotion mentioned more often than regret was love.
Self-compassion begins by replacing searing judgment with basic kindness.