Seduction implies opening yourself up, even if only for the purposes of deception; being unable to give by spending money usually means being unable to give in general. Stamp ungenerosity out. It is an impediment to power and a gross sin in seduction.
The game you want to play is different: to instead find a niche in the ecology that you can dominate.
Nothing is more infuriating than being paid no attention. In the process of seduction, you may have to pull back at times, subjecting your target to moments of doubt. But prolonged inattention will not only break the seductive spell, it can create hatred.
Seduction requires an openness to the other person, a willingness to bend and adapt. Excessive pride, without anything to justify it, is highly anti-seductive.
The person who is obviously angling for money or other material reward can only repel. If that is your intention, if you are looking for something other than pleasure – for money, for power – never show it. The suspicion of an ulterior motive is anti-seductive. Never let anything break the illusion.
The perfect victim is the person who stirs you in a way that cannot be explained in words, whose effect on you has nothing to do with superficialities. He or she often has a quality that you yourself lack, and may even secretly envy.
Fear is not designed to make us feel that we are fragile creatures in an environment full of danger. Its function is to stimulate powerful physical responses, allowing an animal to retreat in time. After the event, it is supposed to go away. An animal that cannot let go of its fears once the threat is gone will find it hard ro eat and sleep.
When you are faced with deficiencies instead of strengths and inclinations, this is the strategy you must assume: ignore your weaknesses and resist the temptation to be more like others. Instead, like Temple Grandin, direct yourself toward the small things you are good at.
Both deliberately and unconsciously, we often develop, a social exterior designed specifically to disguise our weaknesses and lacks. For instance, you may think you are dealing with someone who is tough and cynical, without realizing that deep inside they have a soft sentimental core.
Never try to seduce someone who is of your own type. You will be like two puzzles missing the same parts.
If you see yourself as an object, then others will too. An ethereal, dreamlike air will heighten the effect.
You are a blank screen. Float through life noncommittally and people will want to seize you and consume you. Of all the parts of your body that draw this fetishistic attention, the strongest is the face; so learn to tune your face like an instrument, making it radiate a fascinating vagueness for effect.
Remember, your own image and presence are materials you can control.
Remember, your own image and presence are materials you can control. The sense that you are engaged in this kind of play will make people see you as superior and worthy of imitation.
When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.
There are many paths to mastery, and if you are persistent you will certainly find one that suits you. But a key component in the process is determining your mental and psychological strengths and working with them.
The world is full of self-absorbed people. In their presence, we know that everything in our relationship with them is directed toward themselves – their insecurities, their neediness, their hunger for attention.
Your targets cannot idealize you if they know too much about you, if they start to see you as all too human. Not only must you maintain a degree of distance, but there must be something fantastical and bewitching about you, sparking all kinds of delightful possibilities in their mind.
So rid yourself of your nasty habit of avoiding conflict, which is in any case unnatural. You are most often nice not out of your own inner goodness but out of fear of displeasing, out of insecurity. Go beyond that fear and you suddenly have options – the freedom to create pain, then magically dissolve it. Your seductive powers will increase tenfold.
Express what others are afraid to express and they will see great power in you.