As Viktor Frankl puts it in The Will to Meaning, “Man is pushed by drives but pulled by values.” These values and inner awareness prevent us from being puppets.
Seneca writes that unbruised prosperity is weak and easy to defeat in the ring, but “a man who has been at constant feud with misfortunes acquires a skin calloused by suffering.” This man, he says, fights all the way to the ground and never gives up. That’s what Epictetus means too. What kind of boxer are you if you leave because you get hit? That’s the nature of the sport! Is that going to stop you from continuing?
Ultimately, this is clarity. Whoever we are, wherever we are – what matters is our choices. What are they? How will we evaluate them? How will we make the most of them? Those are the questions life asks us, regardless of our station. How will you answer?
There is something better out there: real virtue. It is its own reward. Virtue is the one good that reveals itself to be more than we expect and something that one cannot have in degrees. We simply have it or we don’t. And that is why virtue – made up as it is of justice, honesty, discipline, and courage – is the only thing worth striving for.
If we don’t have a plan, if we never learned how to put up the storm windows, we will be at the mercy of these external – and internal – elements.
Every time you get upset, a little bit of life leaves the body. Are these really the things on which you want to spend that priceless resource? Don’t be afraid to make a change – a big one.
While you don’t control external events, you retain the ability to decide how you respond to those events. You control what every external event means to you personally.
Anne Lamott once observed that all writers “are little rivers running into one lake,” all contributing to the same big project.
In a sense, ego is the enemy of building, of maintaining, and of recovering.
Make sure you enjoy your relaxation like a poet – not idly but actively, observing the world around you, taking it all in, better understanding your place in the universe. Take a day off from work every now and then, but not a day off from learning.
Courage calls to each of us. Will we answer? Or maybe that’s too much. Can we get better at answering? Can we step up more times than we step back? Let’s start there.
Anger is not impressive or tough – it’s a mistake. It’s weakness.
Lord Byron said: ‘Tis the Cause makes all, Degrades or hallows courage in its fall.
If real self-improvement is what we’re after, why do we leave our reading until those few minutes before we shut off the lights and go to bed?
The same goes for us, whatever we do. Instead of pretending that we are living some great story, we must remain focused on the execution – and on executing with excellence.
You can seek to understand where they are coming from. You can seek to understand who they are, what they need, and what forces or impulses might be acting on them. And you can treat them well and be better off for it.
Traditions are often time-tested best practices for doing something. But remember that today’s conservative ideas were once controversial, cutting-edge, and innovative. This is why we can’t be afraid to experiment with new ideas.
The observing eye sees events, clear of distractions, exaggerations, and misperceptions. The perceiving eye sees “insurmountable obstacles” or “major setbacks” or even just “issues.” It brings its own issues to the fight. The former is helpful, the latter is not.
Strategic flexibility is not the only benefit of silence while others chatter.
You must stop blaming God, and not blame any person. You must completely control your desire and shift your avoidance to what lies within your reasoned choice. You must no longer feel anger, resentment, envy, or regret.” – EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 3.22.13.