It isn’t very serious, I have this tiny little tumor on the brain.
Almost every time somebody gives me a present, it ends up making me sad.
He had a theory, Walt did, that the religious life, and all the agony that goes with it, is just something God sics on people who have the gall to accuse Him of having created an ugly world.
It was a very stupid thing to do, I’ll admit, but I hardly didn’t even know I was doing it.
How do you know you’re going to do something, untill you do it?
How long should a man’s legs be? Long enough to touch the ground.
You take somebody that cries their goddam eyes out over phoney stuff in the movies, and nine times out of ten they’re mean bastards at heart.
I’m the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life.
There isn’t a nightclub in the world that you can sit in for a long time unless you can at least buy some liquor and get drunk. Or unless you’re with some girl that really knocks you out.
Get your dirty stinking moron knees off my chest.
Always, always, always referring every goddam thing that happens right back to our lousy little egos.
I’m the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It’s awful. If I’m on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I’m going, I’m liable to say I’m going to the opera. It’s terrible.
I mean most girls are so dumb and all. After you neck them for a while, you can really watch them losing their brains. You take a girl when she really gets passionate, she just hasn’t any brains. -Holden Caulfield.
I thought what I’d do was I’d pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes.
Did you see more glass?
If I were a piano player, I’d play it in the goddam closet.
Nobody who’s really using his ego, his real ego, has any time for any goddam hobbies.
Give me a story that just makes me unreasonably vigilant. Keep me up till five only because all your stars are out, and for no other reason.
There isn’t anyone out there who isn’t Seymour’s Fat Lady.
Do you know what I was smiling at? You wrote down that you were a writer by profession. It sounded to me like the loveliest euphemism I had ever heard. When was writing ever your profession? It’s never been anything but your religion.