Alice laughed and picked out the top hand of “Heart and Soul.” I grinned and completed the simple harmony with her. Then I favored her with a performance of “Chopsticks.
Her scent hit me like a battering ram, like an exploding grenade. There was no image violent enough to encompass the force of what happened to me in that moment. Instantly, I was transformed. I was nothing close to the I’d once been. No trace of the sheds of humanity that I’d managed to cloak myself in over the years remained. I was a predator. She was my prey. There was nothing else in the world but that truth.
When I stared up at the jeweled sky, it was as if there were an obstruction between my eyes and its beauty. The obstruction was a face, just an unremarkable human face, but I couldn’t quite seem to banish it from my mind.
One tear still glistened in the corner of her left eye, shining in the brightness of the room. A tiny, clear piece of her, an ephemeral diamond. Acting on some strange instinct, I reached out to catch it with my fingertip. Round on my skin, it sparkled as my hand moved. I swiftly touched my finger to my tongue, tasting her tear, absorbing this minute particle of her.
I compared the feelings, the ache and the soaring, to my life before Bella. I’d been so jaded, so world-weary, as if I’d experience every emotion there was to be felt. What a fool. I’d barely sipped at the cup life had to offer. Only now was I aware of all I’d missed, and how much more I had to learn. So much suffering ahead, more than joy, certainly. But the joy was so sweet and so strong that I would never forgive myself for missing a second of it.
I didn’t feel crazy, but maybe crazy people always felt sane.
Clima, um assunto chato e batido. Sempre seguro.
The greatest joy of this life. I had no doubts. I now knew the meaning of the phrase. The greatest joy of my life was this fragile, brave, warm, insightful girl sleeping so peacefully nearby. Bella. The very greatest joy that life had to offer me, and the greatest pain when she was lost.
I was sure only one of us was normal.
De novo, a curiosidade doeu como uma sede. Era como se eu tivesse que saber o que ela estava pensando, como se nada mais importasse.
Como um perseguidor. Um perseguidor obcecado. Um vampiro perseguidor e obcecado.
Instead, I prayed to her God. Because if there was some higher, benevolent power in her universe, then surely, surely, he or she or it would have to be concerned about this bravest and kindest daughter. If not, there was really no purpose to any such entity.
You’ve got to learn to get over things. Like I do. Eternity is a long time to wallow in guilt.
Not breathing now, not tasting her scent, I found it hard to believe that anyone so vulnerable could ever be deserving of hatred.
I smiled, too, without choosing the expression. I wasn’t trying to make her feel at ease. Her smile just made me want to smile in response – to be in on the secret.
If we make exceptions to protect ourselves, we risk something more important. We risk losing the essence of who we are.
I didn’t understand this emotion – it was such a tangle of pain and fury and desire and despair. I had never felt it before; I couldn’t put a name to it.
Estaba intentando ser lo bastante bueno para ella. Era una meta imposible, pero no soportaba la idea de rendirme.
Humans were quite exasperatingly fragile! There were a million different things to worry about.
But I craved her time in a way that I’d never really wanted anything else before. Not immediate and demanding like thirst, this was something different, a different kind of want, and different kind of pain.