I’ve searched the world for all the right words and my mouth is full of nothing.
It’s only when he finds my face that he meets my gaze; I step into the sea of blue in his eyes, dive right in and drown.
I never even tried. Because I let the world teach me to hate myself. I was a coward who needed someone else to tell me I was worth something before I took any steps to save myself.
I want to scream, sometimes, I want to collapse, sometimes, I want to die knowing that I’ve known what it was like to live with this kiss, this heart, this soft soft explosion that makes me feel like I’ve taken a sip of the sun...
If it were nothing but sexual attraction I’m sure I would not suffer such unbearable humiliation. But I wanted so much more than her body.
His lips are so close to my ear I’m water and nothing and everything and melting into a wanting so desperate it burns as I swallow it down.
There is a distinct flavor of panic lodged somewhere underneath my tongue and I’m fighting to remember where it came from.
I do know that I don’t want to wake him. We were up very late last night.
My eyes are filling fast with tears and I blink and blink but the world is a mess and I want to laugh because all I can think is how horrible and beautiful it is, that our eyes blur the truth when we can’t bear to see it.
Because it’s so hard to be kind to the world when all you’ve ever felt is hate. Because it’s so hard to see goodness in the world when all you’ve ever known is terror.
I’d rather be shot dead screaming for justice than die alone in a prison of my own making.
How can I hate his anger,” he says, “when I know so well where it comes from?
I need to cool off,” I tell him, trying to moderate my voice. I’ll be back to shave your head while you’re sleeping.
I wondered if your eye color meant you saw the world differently. If the world saw you differently as a result.
Oh, so now you’re abusing the crippled kid, huh?” Kenji takes a moment to steady himself before punching Adam in the arm. “Save your angst for the battlefield, bro. You’re going to need it.
Then what’s happening right now? Because something is happening right now and it doesn’t feel okay,” he says, his voice catching.
I spent my life folded between the pages of books.
I feel like I’ve been fitted for wings.
Who’s Bruce Lee?” Kenji asks, horrified. “Oh my God. We can’t even be friends anymore.
I want so desperately to bridge the gap between our bodies. I want to press my lips to every part of him and I want to savor the scent of his skin, the strength in his limbs, in his heart. I want to wrap myself in the warmth and reassurance I’ve come to rely on. -Juliette.