I liked some things and hated some things. And there were some things I didn’t know I had until I lost them.
I stopped allowing myself to dream, because it was more painful to long for things and never get them than to deal with whatever was in front of me.
Maybe time would not feel as heavy if I didn’t have this guilt – the guilt of knowing the truth and stuffing it down where no one can see it.
If you don’t like something, change it. You are not a tree.
The only reason I haven’t shot you yet is because he’s the one who should get to do it,” I say. “Stay away from him or I’ll decide I no longer care.
But now I’m wondering if I need it anymore, if we ever really need these words, “Dauntless,” “Erudite,” “Divergent,” “Allegiant,” or if we can just be friends or lovers or siblings, defined instead by the choices we make and the love and loyalty that binds us.
How many young men fear that there is a monster inside them? People are supposed to fear others, not themselves. People are supposed to aspire to become their fathers, not shudder at the thought.
I was beginning to feel that I had finally found a place to stay, a place that was not so unstable or corrupt or controlling that I could actually belong there. You would think that I would have learned by now – such a place does not exist.
I’ve made my peace with Caleb, but I still can’t be around him for long. His gestures, his inflection, his manner, they are hers. They make him into just a whisper of her, and that is not enough of her, but it is also far too much.
Don’t try to define me.
There is evil in everyone. The first step toward loving someone else is to recognize that evil in yourself, so you can forgive them.
I am divergent and i can’t be controlled.
I want some kind of reminder that while wounds heal, they don’t disappear forever- I carry them everywhere, always, and that is the way of things, the way of scars.
And I don’t want to die anymore. I am up to the challenge of bearing the guilt and the grief, up to facing the difficulties that life has put in my path. Some days are harder than others, but I am ready to live each one of them. I can’t sacrifice myself, this time.
Any idiot can stand in front of a target,” I say. “It doesn’t prove anything except that you’re bullying us. Which, as I recall is a sign of cowardice” “Then it should be easy for you,” Eric sys. “If you’re willing ot take his place.
I don’t want to be just one thing. I want to be brave and selfless and intelligent and honest and kind.
Sometimes I feel like we are the same, but sometimes, like right now, I feel the separation between our personalities like I’ve just run into a wall.
He still smiles all the time, but now his smiles look like they’re made out of water, about to drip down his face.
Fear is more powerful than pain.
Intentions are the only thing they care about. They try to make you think they care about what you do, but they don’t. They don’t want you to act a certain way, they want you to think a certain way. So you’re easy to understand. So you wont pose a threat to them.