Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.
Humor is something that thrives between man’s aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
I only know two pieces; one is ‘Clair de Lune’ and the other one isn’t.
A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist – but I found I had nothing to say.
Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.
I don’t mind growing old. I’m just not used to it.
One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn’t have a fireplace.
I normally don’t do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.
In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I’ve seen statues of him on people’s pianos.