If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.
Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.
Boy, there’s nothing worse than an inscrutable omen.
So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?
That’s the whole problem with science. You’ve got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.
I’m crying because out there he’s gone, but he’s not gone inside me.
Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other...
Van Gogh would’ve sold more than one painting if he’d put tigers in them.
As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.
A day can really slip by when you’re deliberately avoiding what you’re supposed to do.
Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin.
The way Calvin’s brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing.
It’s psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I’ll get a saw.
Verbing weirds language.
For me, it’s been liberating to put myself in the mind of a fictitious six year-old each day, and rediscover my own curiosity. I’ve been amazed at how one idea leads to others if I allow my mind to play and wander.
Instead of asking what’s wrong with rampant consumerism, we ought to be asking, ‘What justifies it?’ Popular art does not have to pander to the lowest level of intelligence and taste.
I suppose if we couldn’t laugh at things that don’t make sense, we couldn’t react to a lot of life.
I’ll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.
Once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. – Calvin.