The rumor that I'm secretly creating a zombie apocalypse to generate demand for flamethrowers is completely false.
You’d need millions of zombies for a so-called “apocalypse” anyway. Where would I even get a factory big enough to make so many!?
When the zombie apocalypse happens, you’ll be glad you bought a flamethrower. Works against hordes of the undead or your money back!
The Boring Company flamethrower guaranteed to liven up any party!
But wait, there’s more: the flamethrower is sentient, its safe word is “cryptocurrency” and it comes with a free blockchain.
Obviously, a flamethrower is a super terrible idea. Definitely don’t buy one.
Don’t do this.
Also, I want to be clear that a flamethrower is a super terrible idea. Definitely don’t buy one. Unless you like fun.
Buy an overpriced Boring Company fire extinguisher! You can definitely buy one for less elsewhere, but this one comes with a cool sticker.
[The Flamethrower] May not be used on Boring Company decorative lacquered hay bales or Boring Company dockside munitions warehouses.