If I could pick my own death, it would be on a roller coaster that jumps the tracks and careens into a packed crowd at a cotton candy stand at a state fair.
Hairspray is the only really devious movie I ever made. The musical based on it is now being performed in practically every high school in America – and nobody seems to notice it’s a show with two men singing a love song to each other that also encourages white teen girls to date black guys. Pink Flamingos was preaching to the converted. But Hairspray is a Trojan horse: it snuck into Middle America and never got caught. You can do the same thing.
With humans it’s abortion, but with chickens it’s an omelet!
It’s always up to other people to say if something is art. I hate it when people say, “I’m an artist.” I think, well, I’ll be the judge of that. And I don’t think “artist” is a job description. It’s a critique, a favorable critique, that someone else might apply to your work.
You should want to be rich at 40, at 20 you should want to kill the rich; it’s the right of youth.
Keep up with what’s causing chaos in your own field.
Read to make yourself smarter! Less judgmental. More apt to understand your friends’ insane behavior, or better yet, your own.
I believe that if a seven-year old kid has heard of Naked Lunch and is daring enough to want to read it, he’s old enough to read it.
Nora Ephron’s great line that “overtipping only costs a few dollars more.
All ideology can be embraced if the leader dresses well.
There’s a prison there, too, which always makes me feel included.
Fantasies are like extra cash. They need to be banked for later use.
And yep, here’s yet one more heterosexual man who loves his wife. I’m telling you, it’s a trend! Women I know who are always complaining they can never meet a good straight man – maybe you’re living in the wrong part of the country. Maybe you need to hitchhike. Route 70 West could be the path to a great marriage. Go ahead, stick out your thumb for romance.
You don’t need fashion designers when you are young. Have faith in your own bad taste. Buy the cheapest thing in your local thrift shop – the clothes that are freshly out of style with even the hippest people a few years older than you. Get on the fashion nerves of your peers, not your parents – that is the key to fashion leadership.
Librarians are always smart, a little nuts, and know how to party.
Tenemos que hacer que los libros vuelvan a molar. Si vas a casa de alguien y no tiene libros, no te lo folles.
JOHN WATERS: In Cry-Baby Traci played a sexpot-which is always the best way to rid yourself of an image, by playing it and making fun of it. That’s what Johnny Deep did, too. He was on Jump Street, and he hated playing a teen idol, so I said, “stick with us; we’ll kill that.” And we did – in the right way, you know?
When you’re feeling despondent just put on more country music. There are thousands of slit-your-wrist hillbilly songs that will make you laugh at your self-indulgence and ultimately cheer you up.
Listen to your political enemies, especially the smart ones, and then figure out a way to make them laugh.
Nothing shouts midlife crisis louder than driving a convertible.