Heaven must be a hell of a place. Nothing but repentant sinners up there, isn’t it? All the pimps, prostitutes and politicians in creation trying to cash in on eternity and their little tin god.
This isn’t such a bad place to be though. I imagine you could get very fond of it from a distance.
Oh! I must take my shoes off. Huh! Hell hath no fury like a woman’s corns, has it?
Women never have young minds. They are born three thousand years old.
A woman’s got as much right -and more cause – to get drunk than any man.
Life is a game – sometimes serious, sometimes fun – but a game that must be played with true team spirit.
I have heard people say that they drink to forget their sorrows but the more I drink the more sorrows I collect.
The only consolation I can find in your immediate presence is your ultimate absence.
You can remember the second and the third and the fourth time, but there’s no time like the first. It’s always there.
There aren’t enough secrets to go round anymore. Some spies are having to invent secrets in order to earn a living.
Why don’t you learn from my mistakes? It takes half your life to learn from your own.
Nothing passes. Everything stays with you. Everything makes it’s mark.
You need someone to love you while you are looking for someone to love.
I’m not afraid of the darkness outside. It’s the darkness inside houses I don’t like.
Anything’s hard to find if you go around looking for it with your eyes shut.
My usual self is a very unusual self.
I am here and I am safe and I am sick of it.
I can’t stand people who laugh at other people. They’d get a bigger laugh if they laughed at themselves.