A murderously funny ad for plastic surgery asks, “Don’t you owe it to yourself to look like you fell into a tank of chemicals while fighting Batman?
18Casting the lot settles disputes and keeps strong opponents apart.
20A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish man despises his mother.
25Eat anything sold in the meat market without raising questions of conscience, 26for, “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it.”f.
22The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.
All things are yours, 22whether Paul or Apollos or Cephasc or the world or life or death or the present or the future – all are yours, 23and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God.
32“Now then, my children, listen to me; blessed are those who keep my ways. 33Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not disregard it. 34Blessed are those who listen to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. 35For those who find me find life and receive favor from the LORD.
13But according to his promise we are waiting for f new heavens and a new earth g in which righteousness dwells.
27Where, then, is boasting? It is excluded. Because of what law? The law that requires works? No, because of the law that requires faith.
17For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.
Pascal called the cause of all human misery: the inability to sit contentedly alone in a room.
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ.
37For no word from God will ever fail.
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone’s bread without paying for it, but with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate.
It’s not a bug; it’s an undocumented feature.
Programmer: A machine that turns coffee into code.
When I wrote this code, only God and I understood what I did. Now only God knows.
Computers are fast; developers keep them slow.
When it snows, you have two choices: shovel or make snow angels.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.