Fear was the scariest of emotions and it nestled there, growing ever stronger and sprouting shoots, a seed in the fertile soil of doubt.
Maisie gathered her thoughts and sought to banish the sound of nothing at all.
It’s because it’s the beginning, and also the end. That was what she loved about the place where the water met the land. A promise of something fresh, a suggestion that even if what is happening now is to be suffered, there is an end and a beginning.
And I know only too well how time can cast a sort of skin over an event – a membrane that gets thicker until a point where broaching the subject is all but impossible, even when you think you can face the grief and terror once more.
Maurice’s maxim: “To solve a problem, take it for a walk.
Tragedy is so personal, but it doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened before, to someone, somewhere – it’s what helps us to understand and bring solace to others, knowing something of what they feel.
And as she grieved, she realized that she had never trusted the world to keep herself or those she loved safe. From the moment of her mother’s death, she had known that terror could be around the next corner at any moment. Had there ever been a time when she felt the clutch of fear in her gut loosen its grip, so that she could have faith in the future?
Hatred, revenge – they’re just as bad as trying to protect yourself from more hurt – they can make you brittle inside. And if you’re brittle, you break. One way or another, you break.
Grief should be aired, not buried.
Memories appear in flashes of light, in short scenes, in reflections that can make us laugh or bring us to tears.
Never let fears get in the way of happiness, because fear can lead to such irrational reasoning, and we can make dreadful mistakes, saying things we can’t take back.
And that’s what we are all looking for, isn’t it? A home. We’re looking for where we belong.
And perhaps you can stay longer next time. I sometimes miss the debate my students challenged me with when they stopped being scared of me and before they were mature enough to realize that those who are older may know something after all.
Seek the opportunity to swim beyond your own little pond.
Truth grows even more powerful when it is suppressed, and that often it takes only one small crack to bring down the wall, to release it.
I believe it’s called ‘irrational reasoning.’ It’s what happens to people when they’re scared.
Never fear going in circles, Maisie. The next time around, you’ll see something you missed before – that’s if your mind is open. And you will be different, and it will be better. Experience, Maisie. Knowledge of yourself. And when you have knowledge, you have wisdom. If your mind is open, and your heart is willing.
Silencing the mind was a greater task than stilling the body.
People don’t realize how desolate you feel. How this ache never goes; it’s like a weight in the middle of the body, a bad ache in the gut every single day. And the thing is, it’s not simply a case of missing a person – it’s missing everything that came with that person.
We all need to keep a strong middle, my friend. The center is where balance resides, and if you’re not in balance, you cannot expect to continue moving.