Once upon a time, he had been a man used to the spotlight and now he was a man who danced between moonbeams.
Second best. Second best. You’re nothing but second best.
Winter always waited. It might seem far away for now, but it would be back before he was ready. It would come back to steal his hope – of survival, of rescue, of having a family or people to love him.
Everything grew silent around them, even the birds had stopped their morning chitter-chatter. But suddenly Harper fell forward, her sob shattering the air. She grabbed at him, and Lucas caught her. He startled and then stilled, taking her in his arms and pulling her against his chest as she cried, her sadness bouncing off the walls of the canyon and disappearing into the forest high above.
Her father had wiped her tears and told her she couldn’t always cry for the world or she’d be crying all the time. “But, Daddy,” she’d said, “if I don’t let my tears out, won’t I drown inside?
Love can’t just disappear when this life is through, can it, Jonah? Even if our bodies turn to dust, the love we feel must go somewhere.
I looked forward to seeing it restored, not just for Grayson’s sake, but for the sake of beauty itself. A place like this shouldn’t be allowed to crumble to ruin.
How do you teach a man who has lost everything, not to fear it happening again? How do you teach a person to trust in something none of us can guarantee?
I love you, I love you, I love you,” I whispered, smiling, trying to make this moment a happy one. He smiled back and put his lips against mine, mouthing, I love you, too, as if he were breathing love into my body.
You want my truth, Lydia? I’ll give you this one willingly. I want you, too.” He paused, intensity vibrating between us as my pulse jumped and my breath hitched. “I want you so bloody much I feel like I’ll die from it.
He loves me, my heart sang. And I love him, and he owns me, body and soul. I don’t care about all the other stuff. All of it will work itself out. And in that moment I believed it with every fiber of my being.
We both just breathed for long minutes, getting our heart rates under control. Archer nuzzled his face into the back of my neck, kissing down my spine as far as his mouth could travel without moving his body. I calmed under the feel of his warm mouth, closing my eyes and sighing contentedly. He ran his nose over my skin, and then I felt his lips again as his mouth formed the words, I love you, I love you, I love you.
Wearing your mistakes and regrets on the outside where others can judge them. But, man, the problem is not that others judge you harshly, it’s that you believe what they say.
It’s not easy. It takes work, and faith, and a whole heart full of hope. It takes letting the pain in, too. Because the problem is, you can’t shut off one emotion without shutting off all your emotions. You have to feel the pain if you’re going to feel the joy. It’s just the way it works. So no, it’s not easy, but it’s possible.
I’ve found that people say what suits them in the moment. Doesn’t always mean it can be counted on.
But you did fight. You survived. You fought to live. And you did.
As confusing as our situation is, inside it feels like it all makes perfect sense.
Maybe, she thought. Maybe we were all some shade of monstrous given the right circumstances.
I love you, too. I know now that I never stopped.
We are two halves of the same beautiful star, broken in the heavens. We fell to earth, separate, yet yearning to be together.