I used to get up and sleep eat when I was alive. One time, I woke up in the kitchen and found myself shoveling gummi bears covered in hot sauce into my face.
And you, heretic! Where is she? Where is the queen?” “Have you checked your ass? I heard it’s pretty roomy in there.” I spat blood, moving to hands and knees. I still had the Spear of Nine Spheres wrapped in one tight-knuckled fist, for all the good it was doing me. “You are in no position to sling insults.” The masked Mata Argis Agent had a cold voice, dark with anger. “Where is she!? What have you done to her?!” “The same thing I do to your mom every night.
You come up to my sternum,” Suri drawled back. “Anything below tit-height is a kid or a dwarf.
Hope is a bad survival strategy.
I was going be to flying around like some wacked-out Chinese martial arts movie hero by endgame, which was 200% okay with me.
Hey, what do you think the best way to train Willpower is?” “Willpower? Uhh... ” Suri trailed off. “I dunno. Playing chess?” “That’s more Int, I think.” “Willpower is all about resisting stuff, right?” Suri shrugged. “You probably train it through resisting temptation, defeat, stuff like that.” “Resisting temptation, huh?” I scratched the stubble on my jaw. “Guess I’m starting up No-Nut November.” “Well, yeah.
That, my good sir, appears to be an eyeball.
How wonderful,” I said flatly. The sarge grinned, her eyes glittering. “Every day’s wonderful here with me. Dismissed!
And that, right there, was why I wasn’t playing a mage. I’d probably read a Name backwards and summon Cthulhu.