The only question you need to be asking in a toxic relationship is this: If you were disfigured in an automobile accident and lost all your beauty would your husband still stay by your side and love you? Deep down in your soul you know the answer to this. The next questions you need to ask is when you are going to leave.

— Shannon L. Alder

Shannon L. Alder Quotes

We are stronger than stigma, but until more celebrity role models openly discuss mental illness we will still be stereotyped as less than capable, by an upside down world that thinks reality television is actually normal behavior.

— Shannon L. Alder

Pour God’s love out of you in pitcher fulls, not thimbles.

— Shannon L. Alder

The solution is so obvious, but for so many of us we would travel a hundred miles out of the way to avoid it, gather a thousand opinions on the way and take a pit stop in fear to check our map before we proceed through hell. Heaven was always a direct flight with no layovers.

— Shannon L. Alder

Tell me of your Willoughbys, Heathcliffs and Wickhams in literature and I will tell you I met them all.

— Shannon L. Alder

So many abusers survivors feel they were loved so little, as if the abuser was the most important person to receive love from. They forget that God loves them deeply and that is the only person’s love they need to validate their worth.

— Shannon L. Alder

Grief is just love with no place to go.

— Shannon L. Alder

I was smarter than him because I had a pen and God was my writer.

— Shannon L. Alder

It’s not a lack of love, but a lack of spiritual qualities, that ruin relationships.

— Shannon L. Alder

Having faith in your spouse does not lead to trust, truth does.

— Shannon L. Alder

When you get what you want that is God’s direction. When you don’t get what you want that is God’s protection.

— Shannon L. Alder

Freedom isn’t free.

— Shannon L. Alder

Sometimes it takes a crazy person to see the world clearly.

— Shannon L. Alder

People who can’t communicate think everything is an argument.

— Shannon L. Alder

The most important thing you can do in a relationship is to not lie to yourself. Have the courage to act on those gut feelings. If you think he is cheating then he probably is. Don’t become one of those women that ignores the possibility in order to hang onto him longer. If he is cheating then he already left a long time ago. Have the self respect to see your relationship honestly and not how you wish it was.

— Shannon L. Alder

Imagine living with a scream inside you and that scream is yours. Now imagine no one hears it. That is what grief is.

— Shannon L. Alder

The only question you need to be asking in a toxic relationship is this: If you were disfigured in an automobile accident and lost all your beauty would your husband still stay by your side and love you? Deep down in your soul you know the answer to this. The next questions you need to ask is when you are going to leave.

— Shannon L. Alder

Someone asked me, “Who hurt you so badly?” I replied, “my own expectations.

— Shannon L. Alder

Evil never dies in abusive people. It only changes to obsession.

— Shannon L. Alder

The most miserable people are those that care only about themselves, understand their own drama and see only their own perspective.

— Shannon L. Alder

If you think the other woman caused the break of your marriage you would be wrong. If there is a marriage and your husband loves you, there is no other woman. Put blame where it deserves to be – on him!

— Shannon L. Alder
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