All much valued education of Pavel, all skill and experience, every memories, dreams for glory, regrets, affection and loathing, education of history events and trigonometry equation, entire personality with identity, all of these blasted. All skill and talents. Past and future. All meticulous plan and training and practice. Pulverized and shattered. All former joy and sorrow made steaming gray meatloaf, evicted from skull out exit wound.